


put up a front (put down your walls)

by woozwhy



Series: a bullet straight through my heart! [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gang World, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, M/M, but no actual fighting, but really little angst, focuses more on junhoon as a bromance, i'm a sucker for mafia aus not sorry, jicheol are best friends, lapslock, mingyu is a really really minor character, side cheolgyu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-07 08:06:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10355889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woozwhy/pseuds/woozwhy
Summary: it's odd how soonyoung could be so interested in a man he barely knows anything about. for all he knows, he could be a good five years younger, which would make him a minor, or even some creep who is a step away from becoming a sasaeng fan. the only logical thing to soonyoung in this case is to wait for a day where the man is still around after his shift has ended, and sit with him. to get to know him better, of course.or: in which jihoon is a hacker in a gang and never planned to fall in love.[inspired by baby boy by high4]





	1. put down your walls

lee jihoon doesn't know what he did to deserve such a thing to happen to him, much less to have friends like junhui, who actually slapped the bruise on his arm once he found out he got ambushed by some teens in a rival gang. well, it’s definitely jaebum’s, considering that they’ve had a long-standing feud since god knows when.  
  
"i told you to take better care of yourself, you dumb shit!" seungcheol exclaims, trying to stop the blood from a cut on his side. "hoon-ah, the cut is so goddamn deep, what the hell?"  
  
"sorry, it's hard to defend myself from three kids at once," he says sarcastically. seungcheol swaps out the cloth for a cotton pad and douses it with antiseptic, before pressing it to jihoon's wound. he hisses in pain as seungcheol cleans it up. it's not even that deep, just enough for it to bleed. but, having to fight with the wound unattended to probably worsened it, so he'll give that to seungcheol. whatever, the antiseptic still hurts like a bitch no matter what.  
  
junhui brusquely shoves a cup of hot water into his hand, rolling his eyes. "be glad that they thought you were some weakling hacker and only sent fledglings after you. drink up now." he doesn't blame the opposing gang for such an assumption, though he can't help but be offended. is it his height? because if so, fuck them. he may not be able to reach all of their faces to punch them, but he sure as hell can kick their shins in.  
  
"we should be happy, guys. jihoon could've been badly fucked up. we could've lost our little fairy," mingyu says, pinching jihoon's cheeks. jihoon cards his fingers through his fading pink hair in frustration, having given up on trying to stop them from calling him a fairy. maybe they're kind of right, because in a way he does look like a fairy. it's his own fault for losing a dare to bloody junhui, which ended up in dyeing his hair a pastel pink and wearing flower crowns everywhere for a week. of course, he could've taken off the flower crown when junhui was not around him, but lee jihoon is a man of his word. he also kind of really liked wearing the flower crowns, but that's a secret he'll take to his grave.

"hey, i'm still your hyung, you brat."  
  
"i don't think we should be alone, though. if jihoon can be ambushed just like that, who's to say that we won't too? it makes us less vulnerable that way." seungcheol makes a good point, and jihoon can't believe he's saying that, but it's actually smarter? though, he's not sure if he trusts anyone except junhui with protecting him. although mingyu is stupidly tall, which makes him seem more intimidating, he literally can't even walk without tripping over his own feet, while seungcheol... he doesn't even know where to begin. at least junhui could actually help him in a fight. he can take a few bad jokes from junhui in exchange for security.  
  
"besides, we must protect our precious fairy at all costs!"  
  
choi seungcheol's foot is promptly stomped on, but jihoon appreciates the sentiment.  


  
"would you like to hurry the fuck up, xu minghao? cash registers don't tend to themselves, sadly."  
  
"you're just pissed that i won the bet, hyung," minghao teases, and soonyoung doesn't hesitate to flip him off. best friend or not, it does not negate the fact that xu minghao actually scored better than him for their finals, and he's stuck waiting tables for the next term. that in itself is a good enough reason for him to sulk about. though, at least minghao is a good friend, helping him to tie the apron knowing that it takes forever for soonyoung to tie it himself.  
  
to be fair, they could've said they didn't want to wear aprons, and mrs kim wouldn't have minded. she's thankful enough that they help out in the shop whenever they can in exchange for food. they don't really understand her, to be honest. they've asked her multiple times why wouldn't she hire someone to help her, or sell the cafe. every single time, she'd say that the cafe was the child of her and her late husband, so she wants to keep it running till it dies. _it's hard to find good employees these days,_ she'd lament, _everyone's trying to bargain for better pay and here you two are, doing it for food and experience._  
  
"halmeoni!" minghao calls out, waving to her. "you can take a break, soonyoung and i can take over now." she smiles kindly at them, and soonyoung grins back. it's hard to be upset in such a cheerful environment anyway. the cafe has a pastel color scheme, their coffee brown aprons standing out nicely, and it's almost always quiet, the few tables and bar seats always occupied by studying students. the main reason why they prefer working the register is because you can get away with studying when you're meant to be working, hiding notes behind the register in an opaque binder.  
  
"people are going to start to mistake you two as my grandchildren," she jokes. they can see deeper than that, though. they know they're like the grandchildren that she never got to have to her, and in return, she's like a parental figure to them, looking after them as they try their best to not flunk out of university. honestly, without her and the cafe, they'd probably be eating instant noodles everyday for most of their meals.  
  
soonyoung was hoping (more of praying) that today would be a slow day, so that he could cram in doing some of his readings between serving tables. of course, today is not the day. it's enough for four boys enter the cafe to have it feel like the temperature in the rom dropped by a few celsius. their faces are stone cold, and they're wearing baseball caps to partially cover their faces. everything about them screams shady, and even the other customers are noticing it. now, soonyoung's not a confrontational person, but he doesn't need people like them causing trouble here.  
  
he's about to ask them to leave when minghao brushes past him, menus in hand, telling him he's got it. it's then soonyoung realizes minghao has set his eyes on one of the customers, because he would never be so proactive in serving a customer unless he plans to hit them up. (re: last christmas, where he hit on some girl who turned out to already have a boyfriend. he backed down really fast after finding out, and didn't try to hit on anyone else for the next month. he went back to his old ways pretty damn soon if you ask soonyoung.)  
  
while serving the other tables, he picks up little fragments of their conversation. not that he's intentionally eavesdropping or anything. the one that he thinks is called jun keeps looking at his only son minghao, and how dare he? he immediately walks back to minghao, and is about to ask him to watch out for that jun guy when minghao talks over him.  
  
"soonyoung-hyung, look at the guy with pink hair. the short one. i think he's staring at you."  
  
"no way, oh my god. he's glaring at me, hao! why did you serve them? i was going to chase them out! i bet one of them is going to skin me alive for overhearing even a single line of their conversation!"  
  
"you've been around seungkwan for too long. first of all, you're being over-dramatic. secondly, he's actually making heart eyes at you if you can't tell." soonyoung scoffs, and walks away, completely forgetting about what he originally wanted to talk to minghao about.  
  
he only remembers when he sees a hastily scribbled number on the receipt as jun is paying, and minghao is smiling brightly at him. it's then that he realizes that somehow, he'll have to mentally prepare himself to get used to seeing the four of them around a lot more. 

  
  
as predicted, soonyoung starts seeing the four way too often. they make weekly visits here every wednesday, and junhui - yes, soonyoung finally learnt his actual name - never fails to show up everyday to talk to minghao, either alone or with the pink haired boy, who literally never wants to talk. even mrs kim is used to it, able to call junhui by name now. it's sickly cute, but at least junhui is a nice guy. this doesn't mean that soonyoung won't kick junhui's ass if he dares to break minghao's heart.  
  
honestly, as scary as they look, the boys are actually just giant nerds. once, he overheard them talking about who is the best disney princess. he can't really bring himself to be more guarded against them, slowly finding that they're nicer than he thought. one of them literally calls out "annyeonghaseyo, kim-ahjumma!" every single time he walks in, to the embarrassment of everyone in earshot.  
  
the one with the pink hair is definitely the one who piques his interest the most, though. the rest of the boys all call him ji, but soonyoung would have to be a huge idiot to think that that itself is his whole name. he's extremely quiet, only chiming in every now and then, and he doesn't know if it's just that he's normally this reserved, or that he really would rather be anywhere but the cafe.

of course, he's proved wrong when he starts dropping in on his own irregularly. he always chooses the table in the corner of the cafe and sits here for hours on end with a cup of french pressed coffee and any cake, glaring at his laptop. soonyoung wonders what he's doing. maybe he's studying, maybe he's an author, maybe he's straight up tapping onto their wifi and hacking some government material. whatever it is, he's like a fucking rock. nothing seems to be able to distract him, and it astounds soonyoung. somehow, he makes it his personal mission to rattle him, doing things like completely messing up his orders. once, he added more milk and sugar into his coffee than any human should ever consume in a day, and when he came back the next day, he had shyly asked for soonyoung to try and replicate what he made yesterday.  
  
it's odd how soonyoung could be so interested in a man he barely knows anything about. for all he knows, he could be a good five years younger, which would make him a minor, or even some creep who is a step away from becoming a sasaeng fan. the only logical thing to soonyoung in this case is to wait for a day where the man is still around after his shift has ended, and sit with him. to get to know him better, of course.  
  
"why are you-" he says, but soonyoung waves his hand dismissively and cuts him off.  
  
"my shift's over. so, what’s your name?" soonyoung smiles as widely as possible, and the boy actually shakes his head, and smiles back softly. fondly or not, it doesn't matter because it's still a reaction.  
  
his full name is lee jihoon, and it's the prettiest name that soonyoung has ever heard of.  


  
gang activity from jaebum’s gang, whatever their goddamn name is, seems to be dying down, and seungcheol finally thinks that it should be okay for them to be going around alone. honestly, jihoon thinks that seungcheol was overly paranoid from the start, because no one among them four is stupid enough to not be careful after what happened. sometimes, seungcheol acts like such a dad, it's hard to believe he's a gang member. he knows seungcheol means well, but sometimes it's overbearing.  
  
if it was any earlier, he'd be thanking the gods that he no longer needs to follow junhui to the cafe and see him and minghao eye-fucking. but, he's rather attached to the cafe now, and maybe to the boy with the cute eyes who works there. instead, he's actually visiting the cafe more often, subjecting himself to the teasing of junhui.  
  
the boy, soonyoung, keeps messing up his orders, so often that it feels more deliberate than anything. honestly, jihoon doesn't mind it as much as he should. the first time he did it, soonyoung looked at him so expectantly, it was as if he was hoping jihoon would approve of what he brewed. it tasted like crap, definitely too bitter for it to be a light roast. if jihoon liked dark roasts, it would've tasted great, but he has low tolerance for bitter things and was this close to gagging from the taste. the only reason he tried to keep his face as neutral as possible was that he was worried about disappointing soonyoung. if it were anyone else, he'd probably have gotten mad because of their incompetence, but it's kwon soonyoung, ray of sunshine, walking angel, and he can't bring himself to hurt soonyoung's feelings.  
  
when soonyoung takes a seat next to jihoon after his shift ends, he's wearing black skinny jeans, a white button up, and no ugly apron. he actually looks really fucking good, and jihoon is shocked. he doesn't tell soonyoung that he knows his name from eavesdropping, and not his name tag. he doesn't mention how mrs kim is more open to him now and sometimes talks to him, how she notices that jihoon is developing a crush on soonyoung. he just goes along with it.  
  
soonyoung takes jihoon's lack of protests to be an invitation to do it again, and when business is slow the next day, he takes a seat opposite jihoon with his own drink. "tell me more about yourself?" he asks, his voice full of uncertainty. how gentle soonyoung is with him makes jihoon weak in the knees, how he's always too scared of pushing too far, and jihoon can't help but agree.  
  
that day, instead of revising, jihoon learns that soonyoung and minghao have been best friends since middle school, where they met in a dance club. soonyoung talks about mrs kim in such a fond tone, recounting how she watched him and minghao grow up for the past three years. he explains how they help out for free at least thrice a week for the sake of helping her. soonyoung is the same age as him, but studies in another university, one that is supposedly less prestigious than his own, but is better if you wanted to specialize in the arts.  
  
soonyoung, honestly, is a very normal person, but jihoon can't help but take interest in everything about him. that's because you're into him, he can hear seungcheol tease, and seungcheol is right. jihoon is addicted to him, and he knows there's no way of denying it. so, before soonyoung leaves the cafe, jihoon asks him if he would like to go out with him on sunday, and spend some time together somewhere other than here.  
  
his smile widens and he agrees without hesitation.  


  
one date becomes two and soon enough they're dating. of course, this means relentless teasing from the three, even fucking junhui. though, seungcheol always talks about how he's so much sweeter and gentler in front of soonyoung, that he is definitely a lot more aggressive when around the gang. jihoon simply brushes it off as it being because if he's not intimidating enough, he wouldn't gain enough respect as a hacker in the gang, but a part of him wonders if it's because it's soonyoung.  
  
he doesn't think he's "soft" in front of soonyoung, though. more than once, soonyoung has asked him why he's putting up a front in front of him. "mrs kim tells me that you're actually really sweet, hoon! like, you ask her how everything is and listen to her ramble attentively. i'm not saying that you shouldn't - after all, it's up to you - but i want to see the side of you she talks about!"  
  
it would be a nice and cute relationship, if not for the stupid fact that jihoon is still part of a gang, and can’t exactly leave. honestly, jihoon is worried. he's so worried about the day soonyoung finds out he's in the mafia. seungcheol, junhui, mingyu, and he himself all try their best to hide it, but it's hard. how do you hide scars? what if opposing gangs target their loved ones? it's definitely easier for him since he's only a hacker, but what about junhui and minghao? junhui has ties to the mafia in both china and korea, which puts him more at risk than any of them. he's never been more scared for minghao and soonyoung than now.  
  
"you and minghao, you'd tell us if anything weird happens right?"  
  
soonyoung turns to him, puzzled. "yeah, why the sudden question?"  
  
"just worried. heard crime rate is going up."

soonyoung laughs, and it's almost enough to melt away his worries. "it's okay, i'm strong enough to protect us both, angel." jihoon smiles back, but he knows it isn't true.  
  
(quite frankly, soonyoung is starting to get suspicious. jihoon always gets calls from various unknown numbers, and once got so worried that he left mid-date, but promised to make it up to him. he notices how sometimes, junhui would wince in pain when minghao hugs him, even if it was a gentle hug. he's seen seungcheol with a split lip before, and mingyu walking with a limp more than once. it sounds absurd, but he kind of suspects that they may be part of a gang? but, as cold as jihoon likes to act, he feels like he would never hurt anyone. besides, junhui, mingyu, and seungcheol are all such sweet people. it just feels impossible, yet it's such a probable thing. he just hopes jihoon would tell him soon, if he is. the problem is, he still isn't sure about how well he'll take it.) 

  
  
when junhui is fervidly banging on jihoon's door in the dead of the night and pressing his doorbell so incessantly it might just break, begging him to let him in, jihoon immediately knows there's trouble. he abandons his laptop and rushes to unlock the door, swearing under his breath. junhui stumbles in, bloody, panting, a slash on his arm. junhui is pressing a flannel against it to stop the blood, but the blood is crimson and the wound is fresh and jihoon feels lightheaded. it's dejá vu, but with junhui injured and him being on the other end this time. _junhui is hurt, junhui is hurt, junhui is hurt-_  
  
"activity shot up, it's not safe to be alone. i took a shortcut and got ambushed."  
  
jihoon snaps out of it and slams the door before opening the last drawer of the shoe cabinet to take out a disposable phone and a prepaid sim card. "call them, i'll bandage you up," he says, inserting the sim card before passing the phone over to junhui. that asshole has settled down on his white couch. god, his heart hurts- for both junhui and his couch. he bends down and gropes around blindly to find the first aid kit stored in the last shelf of his shoe cabinet, overhearing bits and pieces of junhui's first call. it seems like he's calling seungcheol, from how the person on the other side of the line is insisting on coming over to check on him, and junhui is repeating for the third time to not.  
  
lee jihoon is not a patient person, and he snatches the phone from junhui's hand when he walks back to the couch. "choi seungcheol," he grumbles, hearing a hum of recognition from the other side of the line. "the card is prepaid, and you're wasting the credit. come if you insist, we can't stop you, but if you get hurt i'm not patching you up."  
  
"well, hello to-" jihoon doesn't even let seungcheol finish his sentence, and hangs up immediately. he passes the phone back to junhui, and starts trying to bandage the wound on junhui's arm. the slash is not that deep, actually, but it's deep enough to need stitches. it seems like the blood has clotted, so that's one good thing at least. all jihoon needs to do is help junhui clean up the wound while waiting for mingyu to arrive.  
  
"wen junhui, you're so fucking lucky mingyu knows how to sew a wound. he’s coming over in half an hour. you better not get any blood on my couch, oh my god. why did you even sit here? there's a dining table right there- right, don't scream, i'm applying antiseptic now. you could've sat by the dining table but you just had to sit here."  
  
"i'm sorry," junhui says, "i only wanted to sit the fuck down since i'm actually bleeding out." jihoon laughs, shaking his head fondly as he continues to work in silence. junhui knows better than to think jihoon is calm, though. his laughter is shaky and his face is pale, fingers working too mechanically. the only sounds in the room are junhui's whispers as he continues to make calls to the other members, and the drama playing on the television in the background. it would feel just like a regular sunday night, if not for the fact that junhui is injured. jihoon has never hated himself more than now.  
  
jihoon's usually articulate, always able to find the right words, able to smooth-talk almost anyone. he's not used to clamming up, and it's insanely uncomfortable. but, right now he doesn't know how to say this, no words coming to mind to say how worried he is, no clue on how to phrase anything or how to string his incoherent thoughts.  
  
"jun-ah, can you..."  
  
"soonyoung and minghao, i know. i'll use our phones to check on them later. the other members come first, hoon, and you know it." junhui smiles softly at him, and jihoon understands that smile perfectly. it's an apology for not being able to protect their boyfriends better, for dragging them into this mess. it's his way of comforting him, of reassuring him that they'll be alright. it's how junhui understands how he is feeling, because they're in the same situation. it's solemn and it hurts him to the core.  
  
"we should start to walk them back. i don't know if they'll be able to protect themselves if they get dragged into this," jihoon says once junhui hangs up on his last call.  
  
"i don't know, hoon. what if people who didn't know in the first place find out? they'd be more at risk that way. besides, we can't keep protecting them-"  
  
"tell me, are you going to break up with minghao just so that he won't be seen with you?"  
  
junhui goes silent, and jihoon wonders if he's hit a nerve. "you have a point, i guess. do you think we should tell them? i mean, we can pretend to be protective."  
  
"no, it's time we told them. they deserve the truth."  


  
the thing is, soonyoung wouldn't be worried for jihoon if not for two things. one, jihoon forgets about their dates, and even if he loses track of time, he's only ever at most fifteen minutes late. two, jihoon's been so stressed out over their safety lately that it's ridiculous, and for that reason alone soonyoung has been worried for the past two weeks.  
  
this should constitute as an emergency, right? breaking into your boyfriend's house using the spare key that he gave you for emergency purposes only to make sure that he's not assassinated or anything is technically justified?  
  
well, it very well should be considering the fact that jihoon looks like a mess, cooped up in his study and this close to passing out as he furiously types on the computer. “jihoon?”  
  
“shit, soonyoung, what time is it?”  
  
“it’s almost eleven. why didn’t you show up?”  
  
“give me an hour, baby. i’m really sorry, but i need to do this right now. i’ll explain it later, alright?” soonyoung glances at his table, and it’s pretty obvious that he hasn’t eaten anything except for a cup of instant noodles and… three packs of instant coffee? but there’s no mug on the table? he’s not going to question that.  
  
he shuts the door of the study behind him, and raids jihoon’s fridge for things he can make something decent out of. although the fridge is almost empty, at least there’s eggs and half a carton of milk. if he can be bothered to, he can actually make crepes for jihoon since mrs kim had taught him and minghao how to in their first year of university after finding out that they essentially live off instant ramyun. actually, the more he thinks about it, the more he wants to eat crepes. may jihoon’s fridge rest in peace, because by the time he’s done cooking it’s empty, except for a few bottles of vitagen.  
  
it’s two hours later when jihoon walks out, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion. “you made dinner? fuck, you’re too good for me. i love you.” the most of dinner passes with soonyoung rambling about the preparation of the dance competition he and minghao are going for, and jihoon listening attentively. soonyoung can tell jihoon doesn’t want to talk about what just happened, and he doesn’t mind not knowing, as much as he wants to.  
  
soonyoung stands up to clear the dining table, but jihoon grabs his hand and asks him to sit down. it’s the promised explanation, but soonyoung suddenly isn’t sure if he wants to know. “there’s something i need to tell you.”  
  
“w-what is it?”  
  
“please, don’t hate me for this, but… fuck, i don’t even know where to start.” it really does sound like jihoon was cheating on him, but soonyoung knows he’s not that kind of person. then again, soonyoung is never sure about anything these days.  
  
“then, start from the top.”

 

it starts with a blood pact to be best friends no matter what when he and seungcheol were ten, and seungcheol crying like a baby from the sting of pricking his thumb. ten year old lee jihoon’s biggest problem then was not being allowed to stay up past ten, which meant that he had to miss his favorite show. eleven year old choi seungcheol’s biggest problem was not wanting to pay attention in class. he doubts either of them could imagine them ending up in a gang in five years. it was eventual, he supposes, considering that seungcheol’s dad is the gang leader of the biggest gang in seoul.

he was never an excellent fighter, but he was a natural at coding. with guidance, he learnt how to tap into calls and to use viruses to retrieve information from devices, and how to fight better. meanwhile, seungcheol was trying his best to pick up how he’s meant to manage the gang, so that in case anything happens he’d be prepared enough to step up immediately. actually, jihoon once tried to create his own virus. it was exceptionally good at going undetected, but it couldn’t even retrieve half as much information as the other viruses he already uses do. there was no point in shifting to that virus, but he’d count it as a win for the books.

they meet mingyu two years later in seungcheol’s last year of high school, the giant first-year in the robotics club with them. if it was up to jihoon, he wouldn’t have chosen to speak to mingyu, but seungcheol decided to adopt him into their group. it’s not like jihoon can object, so he sucks it up. “look at him, ji, he looks like a giant puppy! he’s so cute, don’t you just want to protect him?” the answer is no, but he really has no choice.

it’s purely an accident when jihoon finds out that mingyu’s in an abusive household, and he actually meant to tap into seungcheol’s phone instead as practice. or at least, that’s what he tells seungcheol as an excuse. it’s not like jihoon is blind. he can tell that mingyu is in one, all the red flags practically blaring in his face like sirens, from the excessive fear when they get angry to the extreme passiveness. sometimes, unexplained bruises would appear on his body, badly covered up by concealer. it’s actually barely noticeable, but after the day he saw a bruise after mingyu’s shirt rode up, he started actually looking out for more bruises actively.

he needed evidence, though, so he hacked mingyu’s phone and recorded the audio of his surroundings. he genuinely wished he was wrong, but the recording said otherwise. he brings it up to seungcheol the next day, and it’s decided that they teach him self defense. seungcheol would always insist that mingyu stay over at his house a few times a week, to the extent that mingyu has his own drawer of clothes in seungcheol’s house. it’s all they can do without bringing up the fact that they know mingyu’s being abused.

they actually don’t have to, because mingyu brings it up himself to the two of them, sobbing about how his father has been borrowing money from loan sharks, and squandering away money on alcohol. mingyu might not even be able to go to school anymore because of it. they know the best thing for them to do is have seungcheol’s dad strike a deal with mingyu’s father to get rid of his debt, but also give up custody of mingyu, and have mingyu stay with seungcheol. the only catch given by seungcheol’s dad is that mingyu has to join the gang, because there’s definitely no way they can hide such a thing from mingyu after it. they’re reluctant, but mingyu is surprisingly okay about it, not even batting an eye at the thought of having to be separated from his parents. “they didn’t exactly do their job as parents well, did they? mother did nothing to stop father,” he mumbled tiredly to them one night. “i feel like i should love them, like i should care more, but it’s hard. to me, you guys are my real family.”

there’s not much mingyu can do in the gang anyway, so he picked up first aid, and became some sort of unofficial medic. they’re a thing now, seungcheol and mingyu. it’s weird to see his childhood friend with his one of his other best friends, but kind of cute at the same time. seungcheol really helped a lot in mingyu’s psychological healing process, something jihoon couldn’t do for mingyu.

junhui, on the other hand, is a completely different story. his family came to korea because his mom got a job offer here, but his dad used to be a small gang leader, so jun knows damn well about the underground. he ended up being jihoon’s roommate, and they made quick friends, easily integrating himself into their group despite his shaky korean. it’s no surprise that he would catch on quickly that the three were part of a gang, though. after a few months of keeping quiet, he brings up the gang thing to them. they’re all stunned, because jun wants to join the gang, saying that he wants them all to stop keeping secrets from him. if they were to cause trouble they should do it together, he reasons.

seungcheol learns about jun's past experiences with gangs, and grudgingly agrees to ask his dad. it’s a yes, and the four of them become the youngest members. the most jun does is drug trafficking, but most of the time they help to plan and organize with seungcheol, from things like picking up contraband to ambushes on other gangs to usurp more territory. they're known as the ice princes in the underworld, actually. even though no one knows their identity, only by their code names, it is known that there are four young boys in diamonds that are important to the gang. it’s also known that it’s a race to figure out who they are, so that they can eliminate the threats.

jihoon’s quite conscious of everything. he knows the boys would die for him, and he would die for them too. he knows his and junhui’s identities have been compromised, since jaebum’s gang knows and has sent men after them. he also knows he has no way of getting out of this mess, but one thing he doesn’t know is if he’d actually try leave if soonyoung asked him to. he doubts he would.

 

"please, don't leave me. i love you so much, but i need you to understand i can't leave the gang."  
  
"i understand. i'm not stupid. it's not so easy to leave a gang, much less when your best friends are all part of it."  
  
"are you going to..."  
  
"i won't leave you, i promise. i just need to take a break to clear my mind, okay? i love you, just give me some time.."  
  
"i love you too. i love you so much, soonyoung." jihoon is muttering i love you repeatedly in between broken sobs in soonyoung's arms until he's weak at this point. soonyoung carries him back to his room, but he doesn't say goodnight, doesn't say goodbye. he just leaves silently like the wind, carrying himself away. there is the soft patter of a tear hitting a key as soonyoung places it dead center on the dining table after washing up, there is a gentle shutting of the main door. there is no oxygen in this still night, only soonyoung suffocating in the realization that he was right.  
  


 

jihoon hasn’t really been counting, at least not intentionally, but it’s been a week since soonyoung has last talked to him. he’s been trying his best to avoid soonyoung too, as much as he wants to talk to him. the last thing he wants is for soonyoung to feel uncomfortable by confronting him, but he's getting antsy. he understands that soonyoung said he needed time to clear his mind and wrap his head around the fact that his boyfriend is a gang member, but it's been so long without talking to him. it’s hard to sleep well, not knowing if soonyoung would take him back at all. he's scared soonyoung doesn't want him anymore, if he’s being honest. why would he? he’s a walking angel, who deserves the world. he doesn’t need to be dragged into the mess of the mafia.  
  
it's day eight when he caves and goes to visit soonyoung at work, wearing a baseball cap to cover his face, and an oversized pullover. he seats himself in a corner booth, and waits for either soonyoung or minghao to come, drumming his fingers against the table as he tries to soothe his nerves. it's minghao who comes over first, to his disappointment.  
  
"could you ask soonyoung to come over?" he says, trying his best to not sound rude.  
  
"jihoon-hyung?" the shock in his voice is quite obvious, and he would laugh if not for the fact that he’s here to get soonyoung back. instead, he mumbles a soft please, and looks up to face minghao. maybe if minghao looks long enough, he can see the sincerity in his eyes.  
  
"okay, hyung. also, between the two of us, soonyoung has been pretty mopey lately. i don't think it's my place to ask you what happened, but please resolve it?"  
  
"that's why i'm here." jihoon smiles sadly as he puts his head down again. there’s the sound of footsteps fading, and another set approaching a minute later.

"how may i help you, sir? is there a specific reason why you requested me?" soonyoung’s voice sounds like caramel, and jihoon’s heart hurts. he missed hearing soonyoung’s voice, missed listening to soonyoung talk about his day, missed catching soonyoung singing softly as he works.

"i wanted to know if i should leave," jihoon says, refusing to meet soonyoung's eyes. "go away, never come back. vanish off the face of the earth, become untraceable. i have all the reasons to disappear, and i’m scared of losing the only one to stay."  
  
"oh, really?" soonyoung scoffs. “tell me one.”  
  
"i think my lover hates me. he hasn’t talked to me in a week, and i’m scared i chased him away."  
  
"well, i know your lover misses you."  
  
"does he?"  
  
"he does."  
  
jihoon looks up, and sees soonyoung smiling at him. it’s that dizzying, stunning smile he fell for, and he finds himself smiling back. "he promised to not leave you, didn't he? he just needed time to clear his head."  
  
"fuck, i'm more in love with him now than ever."

(minghao can be heard shouting a "he loves you too, hyung!" from across the cafe in the background. normally, soonyoung would be trying to whack him with a dishcloth, but they’re too caught up with each other to really care. he does, anyway. soonyoung loves jihoon with all his heart, and there should be no shame in that fact.)

  
  
everything, soonyoung thinks, is going well. after jihoon's sappy confession in the cafe, the four boys became even busier since seungcheol's dad was planning to take down the leader of the opposing gang. that was all he and minghao were told, so they were left worrying for their boyfriends together for almost six months, with dates becoming a rare occurrence. they don't blame the boys, though. soonyoung completely understood that jihoon has to settle it, and that he has no place to meddle or complain.  
  
after all that was over, everything went back to normal, and the boys seemed a lot less tense. it's a month later when jihoon suggests that soonyoung should move into his apartment, "so that i can protect you better, of course." soonyoung doesn't even hesitate before saying yes, but he doesn't expose jihoon for using such a terrible excuse.  
  
now, here he is. here they are, in mrs kim's cafe. jihoon is chatting with her perched on a barstool, his hand resting gently on soonyoung's. his smile reaches his eyes, his laughter a melody to soonyoung's ears, and soonyoung think's he's more in love than ever. minghao is probably somewhere kissing the living daylights out of junhui, and maybe seungcheol and mingyu are searching for their own partner. his own lover is here, next to him, and it feels comforting. sure, soonyoung never learns to stop worrying about jihoon when he's tasked to do something for the gang, but jihoon's promise to always come back to his side is good enough. jihoon's a man of his word, and soonyoung trusts him, trusts him with his life and his heart.  
  
it's not a fairy-tale ending, but everything is going well enough, and that's enough for soonyoung.

 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's 2.30 in the morning and i'm craving crepes because i wrote about them amazing. i hope you're not disappointed by this aaaAAAA + sorry about the weird formatting i'm struggling with figuring out html and rich text isn't being cooperative.
> 
> not-that-fun facts: at some point in time, i was tempted to leave it where soonyoung leaves jihoon and scrap the backstory, but that idea was quickly scrapped by my friend. originally it was meant to have meanie and jeongcheol but i found that a bit unnecessary so i cut it out, and added cheolgyu on a whim. i wanted to do a series based off high4 songs, and when listening to baby boy wondered about what if jihoon was in a gang, but then realized i can't actually see him as anything more than as a hacker. also alternated between in love with a ghost and svt's repackaged album while writing this :")


	2. extra, extra!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> for the anon who likes in love with a ghost, a collection of conversations between soonyoung and jihoon.

"so, tell me, what's your favorite food?"  
"does it matter?"  
"well, it doesn't hurt to know."  
"jjajangmyun and spicy ramyun noodles, but mixed together."  
"..."  
"you're judging, aren't you?"  
"... yeah."

"sit down, i made you something. try it! it's on the house."  
"what's this?"  
"kwon-special, only available for you when given a one day notice."  
"you... made it? for me?"  
"it took a while to balance the flavors, but yeah!"  
"oh. thank you, really. i appreciate it a lot."  
"anytime."  
"and, um..."  
"hm?"  
"you were right. it tastes a bit weird, but it's nice."  
"told you so."

\----

"kwon soonyoung, delete that picture now or else."  
"but you look cute!"  
"come on, please?"  
"... fine."  
"thank you."  
"..."  
"..."  
"why did i just receive a message from cheol with the picture you took?"  
"shit, that bastard-"  
"kwon soonyoung, get back here, you brat! don't even think of hiding behind minghao!"

\----

"shit."  
"what?"  
"i think i'm in love."  
"oh. that's... sudden."  
"no, listen. i don't expect you to say it back. but i just need you to know that i love you."  
"ji-"  
"you're so nice it's unreal and i like how you dance and how you smile. and sometimes i get tired out by simply being around people, but you can tell when i am, and you know when to give me space, when to take care of me, when to distract me. you're thoughtful and caring and amazing."  
"ji, really-"  
"i can't imagine life without you anymore. i can't imagine not making you laugh, not being able to see you smile, not being able to hold your hand anymore. kwon soonyoung, you made me fall for you, and i'm not too sure if that's a good thing but i sure as hell like being in love with you."  
"ji!"  
"yeah?"  
"it's okay, i love you too. i love you so much."

\----

"how do you have so many things for one person?"  
"it's really not that much, and you only helped to carry one box."  
"i carried a box of books for you! books are heavy!"  
"you're right, i shouldn't put my fairy through physical strain."  
"i'm not-"  
"either way, can you believe it? this apartment is ours now. ours."  
"honestly, if you asked me two years ago if i can imagine dating and sharing a flat with a guy like you, i'd probably laugh in your face."  
"but you're happy now, right?"  
"so happy."

\----

"are you really leaving now? it's our anniversary today, ji."  
"i'm so sorry, but cheol needs my help with the gang. stay home today, okay? i don't want you to get hurt. i love you."  
"i... i understand. i love you too."  
"thank you. i'll make it up to you next week, okay?"  
"i don't care, just come home safe, alright?"  
"i promise. i promise that no matter what, i'll come home in one piece. i'll always come back to you no matter what."

\----

"you're hurt!"  
"huh?"  
"look at you, you're limping. what happened?"  
"oh... i sprained my ankle when dancing."  
"sit down now, i'm icing it then bandaging it. don't walk around too much, okay? how did you even get home?"  
"minghao drove me back. really, it's just a light sprain. i'll be alright-"  
"would you rather risk worsening your injury, or let me help you speed up your recovery?"  
"fine. but it's not like i haven't sprained it before. i can take care of myself, ji."  
"let me do this one thing for you, alright?"

\----

"what do you think about adopting a kid-"  
"no."

"lee jihoon, is that a cat?"  
"i mean, we can't take care of a kid, but i think we can definitely care for a cat."  
"god, i love you. what's its name?"  
"her name is kiki."  
"oh, that's pretty."  
"like you."  
"what?"  
"never mind."

\----

"watch out, behind you!"  
"fuck!"  
"no! shit, you're shot!"  
"damn it, i'm going to die, aren't i?"  
"i mean, not if we clear the level before you bleed out?"  
"then let's get back to shooting some of these fucks."  
"got your back, babe."

\----

"what are you doing?"  
"just... open the box?"  
"... what the fuck, kwon. a gun?"  
"take it out, look at the handle."  
"it's... k-j-h? wait- is that a ring in the box? kwon soonyoung, are you trying to propose?"  
"i mean, i could've given you just a ring box, but where's the fun in that? lee jihoon, you're the love of my life. you're everything i've ever wanted, and more. sure, you're bad news, but you have my heart in your hands and it's yours now. it'll always be yours. i love you, and i want to spend the rest of my life with you. we may not be able to legally get married, but can you take my last name anyway? be mine, for life?"  
"yes, a thousand times yes."

\----

"i love you."  
"it's 3am, can you go the fuck back to sleep?  
"fine."  
"i love you too, now sleep. you're waking up in four hours."  
"goodnight, ji."  
"night, soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was quite relaxing to write and i'm just more in love w this au after their jap concert vcr teasers AAAAAAA i hope you've enjoyed reading this little extra thing :") i might continue this, but as a series w the other characters?

**Author's Note:**

> [talk to me via tumblr!](https://woozwhy.tumblr.com/)


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